My Journey Begins Today

I am beginning a journey today. Really, I've been on this journey since the beginning of March when I started seeing Dr. Brady because of some health issues. But I'll go into that more at another time. But about my journey that I'm starting today. I felt impressed during the passing of the sacrament today, that I should do a sort of "fast" that would not be a fast from food, but rather a fast from the things that take me away from feeling the spirit of the Lord. So this week I will only read, listen to, and watch things that will help me feel closer to the Lord. So far today I've read from Moses about the creation up to Enoch and Noah. Then I remembered the blog that Sister Anderson told me about. "Daily Closer to Christ." She has answered a challenge to read all the Standard Works in one year and she blogs each day what she has read. Anyway, she is beginning the New Testament today and I think that I will follow along with her. She ask us to Journal as we do this challenge and today she asked, what is my favorite scripture? I really had to think...the scripture that alway's pop's into my mind is "The Son of Man hath decended below them all...art thou greater than he?" but I don't know that that particular scripture, while I have thought of it often during my sojourn here on earth, is probably not my favorite scripture. But after pondering the scriptures, I think that the scripture that has most consistantly changed my life is found in Moroni 7:46-48. "Wherefore, my beloved brotheren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore cleve unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail. But charity is the pure love of christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found posessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him--for all things must fail. Wherefore, my beloved brotheren, pray unto the father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become sons (and daughters) of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope, that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen" It is the scripture on Charity. She asks, how does this scripture strenghten me? It shows me just how to be in the end. It makes me think about how I should be every day of my life, how I should interact with my children, husband, customers, friends and fellow humans. Then she asks; "What is it evedence of?" To me, this scripture is evedence of God's love for me. He shows me exactly HOW to return to him, HOW to take my family back to Him, and exactly WHAT matters most in this life.

Right now, I am experiencing a "tender mercy" from the Lord. Right now, Marty is without work and has been for several months. I have asked myself, why would the Lord not give Marty work as soon as his last job ended, he has never left us without work, or an income. But when I look at the bigger picture, I was in a place where I was, as slowly as the frog in the pot of hot water, falling away from the Church. I was doing small things that were taking me farther away from the Lord. I didn't enjoy going to Church, I didn't feel close to my sisters in the ward, I felt that the Lord had abandoned me when we were having so much trouble with Rebecca. God's tender mercy for me was Marty losing his job...it has brought me closer to my Heavely Father, which is something that I needed more that the air that I breathe! I could not see my way back to him. I had too many little "sins" that I enjoyed too much. Why did God not give Marty a job when we started having regular scripture study and family prayer? Because He was waiting for me to come fully back to him. This journey I am on is both spiritual and physical. As I purge the bad food and toxins from my body, I am purging the bad thoughts and sins from my life and mind. My miracle is Marty's loss of a job.

In her blog, she says:

"There is a moment recorded in the Book of Samuel when the Philistines were about to come to battle against the children of Israel. Samuel asked the people to “Prepare your hearts unto the Lord, and serve him only: and he will deliver you out of the hands of the Philistines…Gather all Israel…and I will pray for you unto the Lord. And they gathered together…and fasted on that day.” (Samuel 7:3-6)

Israel was afraid, and they said to Samuel, “Cease not to cry unto the Lord our God for us, that he will save us. And Samuel cried unto the Lord for Israel; and the Lord heard him.” (Samuel 7:8-9)

And Israel prevailed.

“Then Samuel took a stone, and called the name of it Eben-ezer, saying, Hitherto hath the Lord helped us.” (Samuel 7:12) If you look at the footnote for Ebenezer in verse 12 you will find that the name “Ebenezer” means stone of help.

My favorite part of this story is what happened at the end. After the prayers. After the battle. After the deliverance. In the moment that was surely filled with celebration, Samuel took a stone and made a memorial so that Israel would not forget.

The Eben-ezer, the stone of help, became evidence of the hand of the Lord in a situation they could not have made it through on their own.

Do you have an Ebenezer in your home? It might not be a stone. Really anything that reminds you of a time when you recognized the help of the Lord could count. Something that helps you to remember the Evidences. Sometimes the best way to remember the evidences is to write them down. Then the written entry itself can become the Ebenezer… the evidence.

The scriptures are filled with these types of evidences ––each chapter contains a story of someone who has witnessed the hand of the Lord in their life. We know their stories now because they remembered to write them down. Because they remembered to record them.

In essence the scriptures themselves are a Book of Evidences. A written record of the moments when the Lord helped His people. A reminder.

Do you have a Book of Evidences? A place where you keep a record of the tender mercy moments in your life so you can always remember them, so you will never forget?

I think that my "Ebenezer" will be a penny. When I look at this penny I will remember our time when Marty was out of work, and how the lack of money (the penny) is what brought me off of the brink of the disaster of losing my sole.

As I think about "who" would evidence this I think of Joseph Smith. The trials he went through were so much worse than anything that has ever happened to me or my family. He still endured to the end! Make no mistake...I do not, under any condition, want any of his trials, but he is evidence that the Lord watches out for his own. His life is a true testiment of Christ, and evidence that even I can get through tough times.

It is my testimony that God lives and he loves me and you.

Summer 2008

Today is the last day of summer! I'm half sad to not see the kids all day any more and half happy that the kids will be gone for a good chunk of the day so that I can get more work done! Here are some pictures from the summer. It's not much, but they are fun!